15. USE FAILURE TO MASTER YOURSELF

Few things can be more difficult than finding yourself failing in the heat of battle. Use this to your advantage. When you feel yourself faltering, practice staying calm and thinking clearly. Try to react coolly. You can breathe more deeply and slowly, picture a relaxing scene, or use calming internal self-talk. Use whatever techniques are most effective for you. This is a wonderful self-development exercise.

Most skills are not very useful if they fizzle out in the face of real challenge. Who needs special skills when things are going fine? It’s when you feel yourself sinking in the quicksand of impending failure that you most need your wits about you to find any possible way out. Panic and flailing about will only cause you to sink faster.

In my career as a writer, consultant, and professor, I frequently speak in front of groups although I am not a naturally extroverted person. In fact, public speaking is a very difficult challenge for me that can create a great deal of stress in my life. My natural tendency is to feel self-conscious and to be anxious about the possibility of making mistakes in front of the audience. Nevertheless, I have grown to appreciate the valuable opportunity I have every time I speak to further develop my self-leadership. And my speaking has improved significantly as a result.

Sometimes I pause and concentrate on taking a deep relaxing breath, especially if I feel the presentation is not going as smoothly as I would like. Deep slow breathing in and out of the lower abdomen is one of the most healthy and natural techniques available for achieving calm and clarity. Other times I concentrate on tensing and then relaxing certain muscles in my body—in my feet, hands, stomach, and even my face. Simple exercises such as these, when I am in the heat of public performance, have helped me to progress toward mastery of my reactions to tense and challenging situations. I still have a way to go, but often the most challenging and stressful moments afford me the best opportunity to refine my skills—CHARLES C. MANZ

As you learn to manage your emotional and physical reactions well in the short run, you increase your ability to achieve success in the long run. So when potential failure threatens your composure, practice composing yourself. You can grow your self-leadership muscles by using the challenge of potential failure as your exercise equipment for future success.

Use the challenge of potential failure as your exercise equipment for achieving self-mastery and future success.

Good Morning and have a nice day 👋
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LET MENTAL STORMS BLOW THROUGH

L et’s face it, the quality of our life experience is greatly affected by our moods. Even when we seem to be succeeding in life outwardly (in our work, relationships, health), we can experience a kind of inner failure and find ourselves feeling down. We may just wake up on the wrong side of the bed or dwell on disturbing thoughts about past or possible future failures.

At these times remember that our moods come and go and usually have little significance. True, we can feed them with additional worry, frustration, sadness, or some other emotion and cause them to grow in their intensity until they really do seem like a big deal. On the other hand, if we just let the mood pass we will find that those gloomy thoughts will give way to the more desirable ones that are right behind them.

An effective way to think about this is to view our thoughts and moods as inner storms. When a rainstorm blows in, we can get upset, shake our fist, and yell at it. Or we can just watch it run its course with mild interest and with full awareness that the sun will soon come out again. The same goes for our inner storms. A poetic image of this view follows.

Inner Storm

A distant rumble, a flash of light, a mental storm portends.

A gust of wind, a hail that bites, when will it ever end?

I brace myself and tighten my hold upon a hopeful view.

But those thoughts bring forth a stormy night of mental servitude.

I arch my back and tense my fists of thoughtful discipline.

And all the while the storm uproots the peace that holds me in.

I do respect the outer storms and let them run their course.

So why allow the inner storms to cause me such remorse?

It’s a fight I cannot win.

How can I stop the night?

But simply let it blow on through and I regain my inner sight.

—Charles C. Manz

If we see moods and negative thoughts as simply symptomatic of inner weather—mere storm fronts that will soon run their course on their own if we don’t feed them—then we are better able to keep things in perspective. The challenge is to not attach too much importance to a temporary mood. By allowing these mental storms to blow on through, we allow our dark inner clouds to give way to inner light once again and the inner and outer success it can bring.

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PART III. (14) CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY OVER BEING RIGHT

L ife can be pretty frustrating when it fails to deliver what we think it should. When our new computer software doesn’t work quite the way it was supposed to, when the waiter brings our sandwich with mayonnaise when we asked for mustard, or when the new phone service doesn’t completely deliver what we thought it promised, we may feel it is time to fight for “what we deserve!” The personal loss or the inconvenience may be relatively minor but “it’s the principle of the thing!” Inevitably, though, there is cost in terms of time, effort, and unhealthy stress from waging the battle.

At these times it’s a good idea to ask the wise question “do I want to be right or to be happy?” Sometimes being right is worth the fight—if you’re allergic to the mayonnaise you need to send the sandwich back, even if it temporarily puts a damper on the lunch atmosphere for your party. Standing up for what you think is right may provide a significant opportunity to share perspectives, learn, and come to a win/win solution that benefits all involved. But often, if you’re honest with yourself, you will be happier and healthier if you simply make the best of the situation. Sometimes accepting a failure to get what we feel we rightfully deserve in specific circumstances can help us live more successfully overall.

Imagine the following situation involving two peers who work together. Katlyn has a significant difference of opinion with Melissa about how department meetings should be handled. Melissa prefers that a specific agenda be established ahead of time and one person be designated timekeeper to monitor progress to assure that each meeting adheres to a preset schedule. Katlyn prefers a more relaxed approach that relies on a loose agenda but allows for meetings to drift to different topics as interest and insights arise from the group and for the time allotted to each issue to naturally adjust as the meeting unfolds.

Recently, meetings have been conducted based on the model Melissa supports, but on this particular day Katlyn decided to raise the issue with her privately. Melissa’s response was immediate and strong, “If we try your approach, we’ll never get anything done and our meetings will last forever. I’m sorry, Katlyn, but I just think it’s a very bad idea.”

Katlyn made a quick assessment of the situation. She realized that Melissa had a great deal of passion about this issue since she had spent a lot of time and effort in researching the literature on effective meetings and designed the current format being used in the department. Katlyn also recognized that Melissa was a good colleague who worked hard and was usually very supportive of others. She also did feel that department meetings were generally effective.

Her biggest concern was that the emphasis on meeting structure tended to discourage creativity and innovation. But she also recognized that many impromptu meetings sprang up all the time that resulted in creative and innovative efforts. Rationally she concluded that letting Melissa be “right” this time and retaining the current meeting approach was not really that much of a problem. In fact, it was probably helpful in many ways. After all, they had a pretty demanding workload and efficient meetings helped free up time to keep up with the demands.

Nevertheless, Melissa’s direct criticism was quite ego bruising and stirred up hurt and angry feelings in Katlyn. And Katlyn, despite being a generally cooperative person open to different ideas, also felt she had a good sense of how people worked well together and she usually wasn’t shy about asserting her opinion. Also, she did feel she was right about her viewpoint in this case.

Ultimately, she decided that confronting Melissa further would only encourage a battle of egos that could cause tension between them for days. She still felt her position was right, but once she got beyond her ego she recognized that Melissa was right too. In the end she decided to drop the issue. 

In this case trying to convince Melissa that she was “right” just wasn’t worth the cost. Nor did she believe the additional learning that might result from further discussion of the issue would compensate for the relationship difficulties it would stir up. Many other issues represented better opportunities to assert herself with greater potential benefits.

These kinds of situations provide us with valuable occasions to accept that the world and the imperfect people in it often don’t fit neatly with our preferences but that we can positively deal with this reality. After all, what good is it to prove yourself right and to succeed at getting “what you deserve” if it only makes you unhappy? Make a commitment to yourself to choose being happy often, even when you have to forgo “being right.” When you realize how much frustration and stress it eliminates, you will in fact find that it is the right thing to do.

When you find yourself in a battle of egos, learn to ask:“Do I want to be happy or to be right?”

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MY TOP TEN FAVORITE QUOTES (CONTD)

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

-Dr. Seuss

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”

-Cyril Connolly

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”

-Kurt Cobain

“Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own.”

-Angelina Jolie

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

“If you seek authenticity for authenticity’s sake you are no longer authentic.”

-Jean Paul Sartre

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”

-Dodinsky

“Do what you must, And your friends will adjust.”

-Robert Brault

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MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE QUOTES

Hi, this afternoon I'll be sharing with you my top ten favourite quotes. Before that however, here are some benefits of Reading Inspirational Quotes:

Inspiring Quotes have actually been one of the main reasons behind the success of many people. Checking out Inspirational Quotes day-to-day improves the motivation of an individual and assists them to take activity towards exactly what they want.

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When you are feeling down and depressed, nothing will work better than reviewing an inspirational quote or two. Checking out these quotes will make you feel better and help you pick yourself up.

Inspirational Quotes help in curing procrastination. Postponement is one of the issues that people have to handle and it can be really difficult to beat. When you are having some trouble getting inspired, reading Inspiring Quotes is the very best and the quickest method for you to conquer procrastination almost immediately.

It is worth keeping in mind that the root cause of everything in this world is in our thoughts. They instantly bring a change to our thoughts when one reads these Inspiring Quotes . This then helps in redirecting ones energies to a favorable path that assists one in reaping all the advantages in life.

There are relatively lots of Inspiring Quotes out there and brand-new ones are being produced daily. The very best thing is that they are free of cost. This as a result implies that you can not lack original, inspiring quotes that will assist you get influenced and feel encouraged to enhance your life.

As seen above, checking out day-to-day Motivational Quotes is the cheapest, fastest and simplest way for you to develop a better life for yourself. They are going to motivate you, assist beat postponement and provide you with various other numerous advantages too. Reviewing Inspirational Quotes can definitely change your life. Motivational Quotes also captures one subconscious mind.

THE LAW OF BELIEF

Remember, whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. The greater the intensity of your belief, the more emotion you combine with it, the greater the impact it has on your behavior and on everything that happens to you.

If you absolutely believe that you are destined to be a great success, and you hold to this belief no matter what happens, then there is nothing in the world that can stop you from becoming that great success.

If you absolutely believe that you are a good person with tremendous abilities and that you are going to do remarkable things with your life, that belief will express itself through all of your actions and will eventually become your reality. The biggest responsibility you have to yourself is to change your beliefs on the inside so that they are consistent with the realities you wish to enjoy on the outside.

You can always tell what your beliefs really are by looking at what you do. You always express your true values in your actions. You always act on the outside consistent with who you really are, and what you really believe, on the inside.

One of the best ways to determine your true beliefs is to think about how you behave when you are angry, upset, or under pressure of any kind. This is when they come out. As Terrance wrote, "Circumstances do not make the man; they only reveal him to himself." (And to others!)

By using the Law of Reversibility, you can develop within yourself the values, beliefs, and qualities you most admire by acting as if you already had them, whenever they are called for by the circumstances of your life. To develop courage, force yourself to act courageously, even when you are afraid. To develop integrity, speak and act with complete honesty, even if you feel like shading the truth or cutting corners. Soon your beliefs will mirror your acts, and you acts will mirror your beliefs.

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Welcome back, hope you had a great day...

13. LOSE A DISAGREEMENT TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting to

—From “If” by Rudyard Kipling

People are almost always the key to a more rewarding and successful life. Unfortunately (or if you master a wiser view, thank God) people are different and frequently disagree.

When we find ourselves in one of these disagreements, we are presented with the golden seeds of opportunity in what at first glance looks like the weeds of misfortune. The key is to resist the compulsion to always try to win. There is a time to win and a time to lose. At least it may seem that you lose. But, as pointed out in Chapter 9, sometimes you can actually win by losing.

By acknowledging the logic of someone’s differing point of view, and allowing their argument to carry the day, you present them with a special gift. We all need to feel “right” some of the time, and each person’s perspective usually has value if you really look for it. That means there is a good chance that they are indeed right, even if you happen to be right too.

I have found this to be an invaluable perspective in my writing with co-authors. Most of my books and articles were completed with co-authors—sometimes our perspectives are surprisingly similar and we disagree about very little. More often, we have very different views and sometimes they come into direct conflict.

At first, I struggled with these disagreements, which often led to tension and defensiveness. Over time, though, I have learned that if there is no disagreement, we as co-authors are likely redundant and may not all be needed on the project. I have learned to curb my natural tendency to argue for my point of view and to spend more time trying to listen and understand. Even when I am still convinced I’m more “right” then they, if the issue seems more important to my colleagues and their perspectives seem acceptable (although perhaps to me not optimal) I will go with their viewpoints. Subsequently, the commitment and quality of the work they bring to the project seems to be genuinely enhanced and the author team as a whole is better off.

The idea is not to always “wimp out” and become unassertive. Rather it’s to choose your victories and your gracious seeming defeats wisely. Remain assertive for the really important things, but learn how to see the difference between trivial ego victories and championing meaningful causes.

You will build better relationships and earn respect by being respectful. Sometimes losing a disagreement in the short term is a building block to longer term success with people.

When you have a disagreement with others, there is a good chance that they are right, even if you happen to be right too.

🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌻🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌻🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌻🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌻

🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌛Good Morning and have a nice day.

CREATE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES

Develop the habit of moving fast. Successful people in every field have a sense of urgency. Only a small percentage of the population moves quickly when opportunity or responsibility presents itself. You must be a member of this small percentage.

When I was younger, I used to think that when my opportunities come along I would take advantage of it at that time. I soon learned that your opportunity never does come along—Brian Tracy

Russell Conwell made this point in his famous story, Acres of Diamonds (Berkley, 1986). In summary, it says that in most cases your greatest opportunities lie under you own feet. They are tight where you are. They lie within your current talents, skills, ability, and experience. They lie within your own business or industry. They lie within your own background or career. You acres of diamonds are very close at hand, and that is where you should begin your search.

TAKE ACTION RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Do what you can, with what you have, right where you are." This is the key to success. "Do what you can, with what you have, right where you are."

Focus on the present moment and on your current situation. Don't wait for things to be "just right." It is you who will make things just right. By throwing your whole heart into what you are doing every minute, you will open up doors of opportunities that are not now visible to you.

Look around you at this very moment and ask yourself, "What could I do to add value to the most important people in my work life?" What could you do to make things faster, easier, or better for the people who are depending on you? Be proactive rather than reactive. Be the kind of person who reaches out and grabs opportunities, and if you don't have any opportunities, create them personally through your own efforts. 

BLOGGER'S WORDS

There can be no better moment to think and utilize opportunities than in Pain...

HELP OTHERS WIN, EVEN AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE, TO HELP YOURSELF!

I t’s nice to win. The recognition, adulation, and sense of accomplishment can be almost intoxicating. This feeling can cause us to place a huge emphasis on achieving victory for ourselves in order to keep these good feelings coming.

Sometimes, however, it’s even better to enjoy the victories of others, especially those we care about. Most everyone knows the joy of watching children who are important to us win in sports, a spelling bee, a music competition, or even a silly game at a county or state fair. And we are often ready to sacrifice our own benefit to help kids in situations like this to win. Certainly most parents know this feeling—we want our kids to be winners. That desire is most often for their benefit and happiness rather than just our own ego satisfaction.

Similarly, when we choose to mentor someone who is less experienced in an area where we possess expertise, we want them to win. We sincerely hope that they will grow in their work and career and ultimately experience significant success. The same goes for valued friends, colleagues, and teammates. 

It can be very satisfying to help someone else win at work and in life, even when it means we have less time and effort to attend to our own immediate success. Perhaps the real winners in life are persons who have not only succeeded in their own efforts but were able to look beyond themselves and help others win as well.

Consider the case of Steve Jobs and Apple Computer. Known to be a hard-driving, avid competitor, Jobs returned to the helm of Apple in 1997, after more than 10 years away. In business, one way executives keep score to measure their level of victory is through their salary level and amount of accumulated wealth. But Jobs refused any pay or stock. 

Instead he received a token $1 salary. In an interview Jobs explained, “I didn’t return to Apple to make a fortune . . . . I just wanted to see if we could work together to turn this thing around when the company was literally on the verge of bankruptcy. The decision to go without pay has served me well.” 

Eventually, Apple did turn around and Jobs benefited substantially in a financial way. This result demonstrates an interesting feature about life and a common theme I have heard many motivational speakers and writers echo over the years—if we help others get what they want, we usually get much of value ourselves. 

Upon his return to Apple, Jobs seemed to focus much more on helping the company and its employees succeed and apparently was less concerned about his own victory on the executive wealth playing field. And helping others win, initially at his own expense, helped him to be a significant long-term winner at Apple, both financially and as a person.

An irony: by focusing on helping others get what they want, and not on our own personal gain, we stand to gain a great deal.

Good Morning �

Have an amazing week...�
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A KEY SUCCESS HABIT

One of the habits of success is that of early rising. Successful people get up a little bit earlier, read and prepare, plan and organize their days on paper in advance, and get going before the average person has even started. Thomas Jefferson said, "The sun has never caught me in my bed."

Successful people make a habit of getting up early, usually by 6:00 or 6:30 in the morning, sometimes earlier, and then getting going immediately. This gives them a great jump on the day.

MAKE EVERY MINUTE COUNT

Get into work before anyone else gets there, and when you do arrive, begin working immediately. Don't waste time reading the newspaper, drinking coffee, or socializing with co-workers. Develop a reputation for being the kind of person who is always working, and always working on high-priority tasks.

Work all the time you work. Discipline yourself to keep yourself focused on the most valuable use of your time. Don't allow other people to put you off your game. When you have coffee breaks or launches, have then when they best suit you, not when they best suit the clock.

11. SUCCEED AT BEING A "TRYER" EVEN WHEN YOU'RE A "FAILURE"

I n the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney an unlikely hero emerged. I’m talking about Eric Moussambani, a swimmer from Equatorial Guinea. Eric began the sport just nine months before the games, and he trained in a small hotel swimming pool. In fact, his biggest concern during a television interview seemed to be whether he could finish his race, which would be the longest distance he had ever swum.

When the time came for him to swim in his assigned qualifying heat, the two other swimmers in the heat were disqualified for false starts. So he swam the whole race alone in the pool to the wild cheers of hundreds of appreciative spectators.

What great performance brought out the excitement, enthusiastic support, and even a standing ovation from the international crowd? His time was nearly twice that of the fastest qualifying time of the day. He was even slower than the record for the event that is twice as long as his. There is no question that he failed to win the event and to be quite frank, failed badly. But there was also no question that he was a large success in trying , and the fans let him know this in loud supportive cheers. These cheers, he believed, enabled him to hang in there, endure, and finish the longest and most grueling swimming race of his life, the 100-meter freestyle (a mere two lengths of the pool).

Fear of failure is one of the biggest obstacles to living a full and rewarding life. Avoiding mistakes or doing a poor job in performing a new activity can cause us to not even try.

Even the best in the world in a given endeavor made many, many, many mistakes on their way to becoming the best. The finest musicians in the world hit many sour notes in their hours and hours of practice. Babe Ruth did hit more home runs than anyone else in his generation, but his strikeouts far outnumbered his homers.

The Olympic Games are one of the greatest symbols of excellence. The best athletes from around the world gather every four years to compete. Much attention and acclaim are bestowed on those who prove to be the best in competition and walk away with the gold medal in their sport. However, in our admiration of these champions we sometimes lose sight of the real purpose and meaning of the Olympics.

It is sad when we see Olympians who have trained to their limit for four or more years, fall during their race, incur a sidelining injury during their final warm-ups, or simply discover that they may be good but they are not quite good enough to beat the best. At those times it’s important to remember that the real victory is in the trying and the participation in the challenge. Many have probably never read the Olympic Creed. It captures well the idea that we can succeed at trying even when we seem to fail.

The Olympic Creed

The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well —Baron Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the modern Olympic Games

Good Morning and Happy Sunday 🌴

10. SUCCEED AT WIN/WIN NOT WIN/LOSE

T here are many ways to win. Some ways involve a heavy emphasis on our own wishes and a use of power, intimidation, and even force to get what we want. This approach can be described as win/lose. Our gain is at the expense of others and in order for us to win, others must lose. The classic win/lose example is in competitive sports. As teams vie to be the victors, they win by handing losses to other teams.

Everyday life is also filled with potential win/lose situations such as disagreements, misunderstandings, or when more than one person wants the same thing—whether it’s a last piece of sale clothing or to be chosen from many candidates for promotion into a single open job position. Unfortunately, such win/lose encounters can be demoralizing and damaging to relationships.

A perspective designed to avoid the pitfalls of potential win/lose situations has been described as a win/win approach. An attempt is made to satisfy the wishes of all involved, even if their views appear to be in opposition. For example, the Harvard Negotiation Project prescribes several win/win type strategies that are included in the popular book Getting to Yes.

Among other things it advocates separating the people involved from the problem, focusing on underlying concerns as opposed to stated positions, and reaching agreement based on objective criteria and fair procedures. 24

Despite the obvious advantages of win/win— multiple people enjoying the satisfaction of winning, the innovation and creativity that tends to emerge from working toward a better solution that satisfies all involved—this can be a difficult strategy to embrace. If you are the one who may not get your way, the promotion or opportunity, or the spoils of victory you worked so hard for, it is easy to fall prey to a win/lose mentality. In doing so, long-term satisfying success can be put at risk.

The experience of Alpha Fitness Center owner and personal trainer Tom Thompson provides a striking example. For several years Tom was in the commercial real estate business, brokering and managing a large number of properties. From all appearances, Tom was quite successful, even prospering, while most others were struggling badly in the face of a major recession in the industry. Thus, when Tom’s largest client explained that his organization was consolidating its management and leasing of their properties, Tom was optimistic. He fully expected that he would not only keep his current portfolio but be given responsibility for several additional properties in reward for his successful operation of their real estate. However, a few minutes into the conversation it was clear that his client was painfully struggling with telling Tom that they were terminating his contract. His portfolio was to be given to another real estate firm.

Justifiably, Tom could have been defensive, angry and hostile toward his client, “after all I’ve done for you and your organization . . . this is outrageous . . . !!!” Instead Tom interrupted his client, relieving him of his agonizing task, and asked if the relationship between the two of them was still good. The client responded by saying that it absolutely was. 

Tom then explained that he was really in the relationship business rather than the real estate business and if their relationship was still good then he was satisfied. With that he walked away from a sizable and lucrative portfolio of real estate and began his bottom level entry into the fitness business (which, by the way, was Tom’s true passion).

A couple years later, when Tom’s former client needed someone to run a fitness center to enhance a new commercial property complex, he proceeded to give—not sell, but give—Tom the fitness business. All of the quality fitness equipment and the facility itself were financed by the company and Tom was simply asked to pay back a percentage of the profits from the business. More recently the client’s organization decided to give Tom yet another even nicer “state of the art” fitness center which cost upward of a million dollars to finance.

Imagine if Tom had taken a win/lose attitude about the apparent unfair loss he was handed in the highly competitive real estate industry. Had he blown up at his former client, undoubtedly that would have been the end of the story. Instead he focused on how he and his client could both win in terms of their relationship. And this win/win view in the long run helped Tom to enjoy an even more satisfying kind of career success.

When in conflict, work to satisfy the others involved as well as yourself for a better and more lasting result.

Good Morning!

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith. —Franklin Delano Roosevelt 

The GREAT TRUTH

"You can learn anything you need to learn, to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself." This principle offers a way for you to take complete control over your future.

Generally speaking, no one is smarter than you, and no one is better than you. Just because someone is doing better than you doesn't mean that he is better than you. It usually means that he has just learned how to succeed in his particular field before you have. And whatever someone else has done, you can probably do as well. There are few limits.

This is not an easy rule, but it is definitely simple. You, too, can learn anything you need to learn to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself.

NO REAL LIMITS

But the reality is that there are no real limits on what you can accomplish with your life. Within reason, whatever someone else has done, you can do as well. The very fact that you can set a clear goal for yourself means that you probably have the ability to achieve it. Nature does not give you a burning desire for something without also equipping you with the talents and abilities you need to acquire it.

If you think back over your life, you will recall that almost everything that you ever really wanted long enough and hard enough, you finally achieved. You are not helpless, and you are not stuck in the rut. Your true potential is limited only by your own imagination and determination. 

WINNING THROUGH LOSING (CONTD)

I t can be a great feeling to dominate in competition. Winning decisively so that it is clear just how good we are, whether in tennis, bridge, or in our career, can seem pretty wonderful. Sometimes the old saying captures how we feel, “winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

There are also times when we feel bad for the competition, especially if it is a child, a friend, or a well-liked relative. At one time or another most of us have experienced the wish, and even taken the actions, to lose on purpose. Consequently, we can end up feeling like a winner because of the joy the victory brings to our opponent, especially if it is a child. After all, would you really want to continue to compete if you knew that your continuous victories would bring frustration and dismay to someone you care about?

Most of us have also been in circumstances where winning just seems too easy. In competition when victories come with little challenge, we can find ourselves unmotivated, complacent, and losing interest. Continuous winning can become so routine that it loses much of its value to everyone involved.

An inspiring example of how the experience of losing can actually restore the value of winning can be found in the story of the 2000 U.S. Women’s Olympic Softball Team. As the defending Olympic Gold Medal winners, the U.S. team was expected to win easily. In the words of one of the players, Lisa Fernandez, “I thought we were going to come through and show how dominant U.S. softball was.” 

Consider the facts. The team had:

• Won the 1996 Olympic gold medal
• Eight players returning from the 1996 team
• Just completed an international tour and won all 60 of their scheduled games
• A winning streak going into the Olympics of an incredible 110 straight victories.

Looking to the 2000 Olympics, one might have easily . . . yawn . . . thought it would be a . . . yawn . . . cakewalk . . . a kind of “so what” victory. After all, they always win, don’t they? Well it didn’t turn out that way. After beating Canada 6–0 and Cuba 3–0 in the first two games, they proceeded to lose three consecutive games to Japan, China, and Australia. This formerly dominant team was on the brink of elimination. They needed two consecutive clutch victories to even have a chance at a medal. And they would have to face all three of the teams that had beaten them to have a shot at the gold. Suddenly the “cakewalk” had turned into a heroic battle for survival.

How did they respond? Did they throw in the towel? No, they instead used their losses to stage an even greater victory. First, they banded together and took a symbolic group shower in their uniforms to wash away the “voodoo curse.” And then they played as hard as they could, focusing on every single pitch, out, and at bat. They proceeded to win five straight victories to recapture the gold medal. Overnight, the unbeatable, always win, “should I even bother to play” Americans had become the heroic “comeback kids.” And the fanfare from the media, fans, and the team itself was far greater than anyone imagined it would be. Most everyone seemed to agree that the victory in 2000 significantly surpassed that of 1996.

After losing, this team was ultimately able to win at a whole new level. Their story serves as a reminder to us all that when things are going poorly . . . when we seem to be losing in a bad way . . . we don’t need to be demoralized and give up. Things can turn around if we give it our all and persevere. Our temporary loss may just be a prelude to a much sweeter victory in the end.

So remember, sometimes your losing can be a gift to a child or friend that allows them to experience joy and confidence because of their victory. And sometimes when you lose at first but persevere and try your best to turn things around, your ultimate victory can be all the greater. Sometimes when you lose, you win.

Persevere in the face of a short-term loss . . . it could be the prelude to an even greater victory in the end.

Good Morning! 

THE NEW PARADIGM OF WORK

One of the major revolutions in thought that has taken place in the world of work in the past few years is the idea that you must justify your position anew every day. 

It used to be that a person would work hard for a few years until he had achieved a certain level in his job. He could then coast along at that level for many years, if not for the rest of his career. His attitude was, "well, I've paid my dues. I earned my position. I did a great job. Now I am entitled to this job indefinitely."

But this is no longer good enough. Today, everybody wants to know, "what have you accomplished lately?" In the fast-moving, highly competitive business world of today, your boss wants to know what you have done to add value recently. You have already been paid for what you did last year, last month, even last week. Now you must earn and justify your paycheck anew. There is a race on and you are in it, whether you know it or not.

TWO SOURCES TO ADD VALUE

There are two major sources of value in the world of work today. The fist is time and the second is knowledge. Today, time is the currency of modern business. Everyone must be focused on reducing the amount of time that it takes to get the same results.

Customers will pay dearly for anyone who can reduce the time needed to get them the products and services they want. People will pay more for someone who can satisfy their needs faster than someone else. This is why most of the major improvements in modern management are those that reduce the amount of time that it takes to get the job done.

The most important measure of time is speed. The most important quality that you can develop with regard to time is a "sense of urgency." This is the habit of moving fast when opportunity presents itself to you. Develop a bias for action. Fast tempo is essential to success. All successful people do not only work hard, hard, hard, but they work fast, fast, fast!

PART TWO: WINNING THROUGH LOSING

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake—Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

8. SOMETIMES WHEN YOU WIN, YOU LOSE

Jon Bowen was running a 10K (6.2 miles) race, the Harvest Moon Classic, in Washington, D.C. He had trained very hard for the race and was on target for a personal best time as he neared the halfway point. Suddenly, the runner in front of him twisted his ankle in a pothole and fell to the cement. The fallen runner grasped his ankle as he rolled onto his back. In one instant Mr. Bowen was faced with the decision whether to stop and help or run on past. He later explained that he had faced a moral dichotomy: “Duty to fellow man or every man for himself?”

He didn’t stop. In fact, he hurdled the runner in an effort to avoid losing precious time. When he glanced over his shoulder he saw that a woman runner had stopped to lend a hand. In the end, Bowen did finish with his personal record, but it bothered him that he made, in his words, “the selfish choice.”

Quoting novelist Ian McEwan, who wrote, “Selfishness is written in our hearts,” Bowen said that he believes compassion is in our hearts too. The challenge when you are heading for the finish line, he explained, “is knowing when to let compassion take the lead. Next time I hope to make the right choice.” 

A story like this invites us to rethink our definition of winning. To borrow a line from a popular movie, “sometimes when you win you lose. . . .” Jon Bowen won in the sense that he ran the race in a personal best time but later recognized that he had lost in a deeper sense. He made a choice of shortsighted winning over a more lasting kind of victory.

Each of us encounters this kind of choice everyday. It can be an opportunity to lend a hand when someone needs our help at work or to stop what we are doing and listen when a friend needs someone to talk to. Making the right choice when it temporarily distracts from our progress is the challenge. Sometimes we need to stay on task, but sometimes it’s even more important to help someone else.

A wise lesson is in learning that the shortest route to victory may be a trap that can cause us to lose more than we gain. Perhaps the woman who stopped to help the fallen runner understood this; if she chose the seemingly clearest path for a short-term win she would lose in a way that her hollow victory could never compensate for. She seemed to understand that sometimes when you win, you lose.

The shortest route to victory may be a trap that can cost us more than we stand to gain.

Good Morning...🎆🔔

YOU ARE SPECIAL

The Good news is YOU CAN CONTROL your thoughts. 

You have the power to make great things happen.

 YOU ARE SPECIAL...

BLOGGER'S WORDS

We cannot change the past, that is beyond control. However, we can change our mentality of the past, that is within our control...

7. TO BE A REAL SUCCESS, YOU MUST FAIL!!!

T he Introduction pointed out that most failures are simply challenges in progress. Whether these challenges ever arrive at success often depends on the strength and experience we bring to the challenge from struggling with past setbacks and failures.

Recently, a colleague e-mailed a revealing story that was circulating on the Internet about a butterfly. In the story, a man is watching a butterfly struggle to break out of its cocoon. After making some progress to work its way through a small hole, the butterfly appeared to simply stop its efforts. For some time it seemed to make no headway, so the man concluded it was stuck and decided to lend a helping hand by forming a larger opening in the cocoon with scissors. Afterward the butterfly emerged easily but with small, shriveled wings and a swollen body.

It turned out that the struggle to emerge from the cocoon would have forced the fluid from the butterfly’s body into its wings, a necessary process for enabling it to fly. As a result of the man’s well-intentioned “help” he had interfered with nature’s life-strengthening process. The butterfly was now doomed never to fly, but to crawl around with its swollen body and shriveled wings for the rest of its life.

Many of our failures in life present us with the same kind of challenge that the butterfly faced. Learning, personal growth, skill development, courage, persistence, the potential for empathy, and a host of other desirable life assets can be gained from failing successfully. We cannot hope to become really successful in our lives unless we learn to fail well in a way that prepares us for greater success. If we get caught in the trap of trying to avoid challenge and backing away from our setbacks, we cannot learn the valuable lessons that we need to learn. If we habitually explain away our short-term failures by making excuses and covering our tracks so that we always look successful, we stunt our personal growth. We need failures in life to provide us with the opportunity to wrestle with the kind of challenge that can squeeze the life-giving fluid we need to strengthen our wings for successful flight in life.

This is apparently the reason that NASA has used significant failure as an important criterion for selecting new recruits. When they were looking for potential astronauts for the Apollo 11 lunar mission, they invited resumes from the American public. They first weeded out applicants based on academic qualifications but they still had several thousand candidates.

The next step was a very interesting one. They weeded out all candidates who had not bounced back from a significant failure at some point in their careers. One might think it would be more logical to select those whose career performance was so strong that they had never experienced significant failure. They instead actually sought those who had failed. The apparent premise was that a person who had failed and then got up again was a stronger contender then one who had never experienced failure. 

Perhaps the best way to view this seemingly radical thinking at NASA would be to conclude that they wanted astronauts who had developed sufficient strength to withstand the many challenges of flying to the moon. Just like a butterfly that fully encounters the challenge of emerging from the cocoon, the ones who had struggled and recovered from failure were the ones viewed as having wings strong enough to take flight into space.

By wrestling with failure we grow strong wings for soaring to success.

Good Morning and have a great week...

5. OVERCOME THE SUCCESS

CATCH–22

I n the classic American novel Catch-22 , a pilot in World War II decides he does not want to continue flying combat missions. He realizes the probability of being killed in action is high and feels that he has flown enough missions.

When he talks to the military doctor and requests to be grounded, the doctor explains that he cannot ground him based on his physical health. The pilot then claims to be “crazy” and requests to be grounded for psychological reasons. Despite the pilot’s attempts to persuade him that he is crazy the doctor does not buy it. He also refuses to take the word of other bomber crew members who agree that the pilot is crazy. The doctor explains the crew members are the ones who are crazy because they don’t ask to be grounded.

Ultimately, the doctor explains what he calls Catch-22: The pilot is not crazy because he asks to be grounded (a rational self-preserving wish) while the other crew members are crazy because they don’t ask to be grounded (an irrational life-threatening choice). And the doctor does not ground those who don’t ask to be grounded.

This comical paradox parallels one of the most difficult hurdles for people who want to be successful—what might be called the Success Catch-22. People who really want to be successful will be naturally resistant to failure. And yet we must fail, and usually many times, at least in the short run, if we are going to enjoy significant success in the long run.

For example, new employees hired into desirable jobs will likely want to be as successful as possible. They may go out of their way to avoid taking risks or doing anything that could jeopardize their new highly valued position. Wanting to be very successful can translate into a tendency to play it safe and not suffer any kind of failure.

A useful corollary to this might be “If you want to be successful in life, continually fill your mind with opportunities, not obstacles, so that you will create them.”

Long-term success is largely influencedby our capacity to withstand defeat . . .and to focus on opportunitiesrather than obstacles.

Good Morning and Happy Weekend ☺👋

4. LEARN THE CHALLENGING SECRET TO SUCCESSFUL FAILURE

PATIENCE

T here is a powerful but challenging secret about the relationship of short-term failures to longer term successes. This secret is very difficult for many to accept and incorporate into their work and life, but it is an essential part of learning how to use the Power of Failure. The secret is patience .

In a recent interview for Fast Company magazine, Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft, emphasized the importance of patience for succeeding in business. He explained that products and businesses go through three phases: vision, patience, and execution. And he said the patience stage is the toughest and most uncomfortable.

The vision stage generates a great deal of excitement and energy and the future looks promising. Eventually the final execution stage is a time of fine-tuning and figuring out how to be even more successful. Both the vision and execution stages can be very satisfying and comfortable. It’s the middle “patience” stage that can be very difficult. Ballmer explains, “You have to cut out parts . . . react to what the market is telling you. You get into trouble if you assume that you’re going to reach critical mass too quickly—because it’s most likely that you won’t. Through all these trials you can’t lose patience.”

Ballmer notes that Microsoft’s Windows software was no exception to this pattern. “Windows 1.0 wasn’t a success. Windows 2.0 wasn’t a success. It wasn’t until we put out Windows 3.1 that we really had a big winner.”

He goes on to explain that the recent setbacks in the Internet economy reflect a transition from the vision stage to the patience stage. He also points out that many entrepreneurs cannot handle the patience stage. Many seemed to believe the vision stage would never end or that execution would immediately follow without a need for patience. He cited small Internet companies doing Superbowl ads as an example of this misguided viewpoint. In the end he suggests that employees and investors alike need to either be patient or get out of the business.

I suspect it is fairly easy for most to identify with the sage advice of Ballmer. Anytime we set out to learn or accomplish something new and significant we likely face the same three stages and especially the challenge of the need for patience. Personally, patience is a tough challenge for me as I find myself failing on my way to what I hope will be ultimate success in a variety of activities.

One of my recent efforts has been to learn Tai Chi. I had a vision of the strength, flexibility, calmness, and other health benefits I would soon be deriving and how I would master the technique through the help of a professional instructor and the use of videotapes. I really wanted to go from vision to execution and had little desire to endure the patience stage. Consequently, despite my instructor’s advice that I take it slow and start by learning just one or two poses of the dozens that make up a single form (a series of moves that completes one exercise sequence), I proceeded to try to learn a whole form, which should normally take up to a year or more, in about a month.

In retrospect I have to laugh a little at myself for trying to learn too quickly and lacking the patience to learn at an effective pace. My teacher pointed out it would take a great deal of work to relearn the poses in a technically correct way.

He ended by citing an ancient wisdom story, whose essence went something like this. A martial arts student was studying a new set of movements under a master and asked how long it would take to learn the new skills. The master responded that it would take perhaps two years. Being a bit discouraged and impatient with this answer, the student asked how long it would take if he would study and work very very hard. To this the master responded that then it would take him about four years.

The implication is clear—if we want to ultimately succeed in a significant way, we need to accept and be patient with the learning and development that go along with facing challenges. The bridge between short-term failures and ultimate success is a challenging one, but it may well be the essential secret to success—it is patience .

The critical bridge between vision and execution is patience .

Good morning...

Have a nice day! 

DO IT NOW!!!

Procrastination is not only the thief of time; it is the thief of life. To outperform your competition, both inside and outside your organization, you must develop the habit of moving quickly when something needs to be done. You must develop a reputation for speed and dependability. Study after study shows that those individuals with best reputations for speed and dependability are the most valued in every organization. They are very quickly promoted onto the fast track in their careers.

The wonderful advantage of developing the habit of moving fast is that the faster you move, the better you get. This is because the faster you move, the more experience you get. The faster you move, the more you learn and more competent you become. The faster you move, the more energy and enthusiasm you have. People who move fast as a way of life soon develop  a totally different temperament and personality than people who move slowly or who take a casual attitude toward their work.

SUCCESS COMES FROM GOOD HABITS

Fully 95 percent of everything you do throughout your day is based on habit. Successful people are those who have developed the habit of success. Success people form good habits and ensure that those habits govern their behaviors. Unsuccessful people allow their bad habits to form, and these bad habits then lead to frustration and failure.

Ed Foreman says, "Good habits are hard to form but easy to live with. Bad habits, on the other hand, are easy to form but hard to live with."

A habit is defined as "a conditioned response to stimuli." It is an automatic way of responding or reacting in a particular situation. You develop a habit by repeating a specific act or way of thinking and reacting. Once it becomes a habit, it becomes easier to do it that way than do it some other way. What kind of habits do you have?

Successful people are simply those who developed successful habits. They have trained themselves, like athletes, to do certain things in a certain way, over and over again, until they do them automatically, without even thinking about them.

You may have heard the old saying:

Sow a thought and you reap an action;

Sow an action and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit and you reap a character;

Sow a character and you reap a destiny.

BLOGGER'S WORDS

Dreams can fail us because they ain't real, we are real and shouldn't fail ourselves—Believe more In YOU 

3. RECOGNIZE FAILURE AS THE LIFEBLOOD OF SUCCESS

W e can take a variety of roads in the pursuit of success. One obvious route is to work toward a goal as unerringly as possible until it is achieved. Success is measured by our clear progress toward this end. Failure is not only left out of the equation but it is avoided above all else. It is seen as incompatible with success.

Unfortunately, this all too dominant perspective can create some real problems in terms of our ability to learn, to grow, and to take the necessary risks we need to be fully alive. In his book The Active Life, noted author Parker Palmer powerfully addresses this concern. He points out that in the West our fixation on success (or what he refers to as “instrumental action”):discourages us from risk-taking because it values success over learning, and it abhors failure whether we learn from it or not . . . [it] always wants to win, but win or lose, it inhibits our learning. If we win, we think we know it all and have nothing more to learn. If we lose, we feel so defeated that learning is a hollow consolation.

And as if this telling passage weren’t enough he goes on to say:

[it] traps us in a system of praise or blame, credit or shame, a system that gives primacy to goals and external evaluations, devalues the gift of self-knowledge, and diminishes our capacity to take the risks that may yield growth....

We can choose another road (perhaps Robert Frost’s mythical road less traveled by) that brings us face to face with failure as a primary vehicle for success. On this road failure is viewed as the very lifeblood of success. Palmer’s words point to this kind of view.

Soichiro Honda, the founder of Honda Motor Company, dramatically paints a vision of this alternative route to success. After growing up in an impoverished family in which several of his siblings died of starvation, Honda encountered dramatic setbacks—including the bombing of his original piston plant in 1945 and later its complete destruction by an earthquake. His personal philosophy of success despite, or perhaps because of, his difficult past embraces failure. When receiving an honorary doctorate at the University of Michigan he said in his speech: “Many people dream of success. To me success can only be achieved through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success represents the one percent of your work that results from the ninety-nine percent that is called failure.”

Once again we come face to face with the challenging prospect that setbacks are an unavoidable part of everyday life. We all fail. And not just a little but a lot, especially if we are taking the risks and pursuing the learning of new skills that enable us to meet exciting and worthwhile challenges. We are called to accept the infusion that these challenging times can offer to the health of our journey toward success. 

The worthwhile journey toward a rich, meaningful, and rewarding life requires a willingness to receive a good dose of failure—the ironic lifeblood of success.

Good Morning...

Have a nice day 👋

2. BE A SUCCESSFUL LEARNER BY LEARNING FROM FAILURE

B ill Gates provided a practical perspective on the importance of learning from failure in his book Bill Gates @ the Speed of Thought , “Once you embrace unpleasant news not as negative but as evidence of a need for change, you aren’t defeated by it. You’re learning from it.”

He then went on to list many costly Microsoft product failures that provided the learning and opportunity for development of many of Microsoft’s biggest successes, mentioning the following examples:

*Many apparently wasted years working on a failed database called Omega resulted in the development of the most popular desktop database, Microsoft Access

*Millions of dollars and countless hours invested in a joint operating system project with IBM that was discontinued led to the operating system Windows NT.

*A failed multiplan spreadsheet that made little headway against Lotus 1-2-3 provided learning that helped in the development of Microsoft Excel, an advanced graphic spreadsheet that leads the competition.

Clearly Bill Gates had a view of successful learning from setbacks that helped him and his company to turn many potential failures into dynamic successes.

Without a doubt one of the most powerful pillars of long-term success is learning from mistakes. The importance of learning from mistakes for achieving significant success is so widely recognized that it might almost seem unnecessary to mention. 

A challenging, well-lived, and successful life will be filled with both ups and downs. Growing as a person and addressing significant real-world problems means we will surely fail some of the time, but if we learn from these failures and stay the course, we will eventually succeed.

Effective learning of challenging activities largely depends on how we think about failure. Just as we develop habits in our behavior, we also develop habits in our thoughts. And many of us have powerful thought habits about failure that include negativity and self-criticism and these demoralize us.

The result is that we impede the very learning that we need to help things work out better the next time around. 

The challenge is to manage our thoughts about failures in such a way that we learn from them and consequently increase our personal effectiveness in our work and life.

If we can concentrate on learning from every situation, especially those in which we seem to fail, we will continually move ahead. This effective approach might be called learning forward. How can we learn forward through failures? To begin with, view short-term failures as the building blocks for future success and concentrate on learning all you can from them rather than trying to make excuses or trying to cover up these temporary setbacks. The trick is to always move forward as you fail.

For example, golfers would choose progressively more difficult courses and try more challenging shots as they progress in their game. At first, a relatively easy course and making conservative shot selections may represent the right amount of challenge. Over time, more difficult courses and more aggressive shots (trying to shoot over the trees rather than playing it safe and going around them) can be chosen. Undoubtedly the greater challenge will bring with it more mistakes and setbacks, but learning will increase as well.

As you master this process you can purposely choose new and greater challenges to learn from throughout your life that stretch you more and more. Fail at greater and greater worthwhile challenges, and you can learn on your way to ultimate long-term success.

Setbacks are simply evidence of a need for change and a chance to learn.

Good Morning...

Have a nice day 👋

1. TO SUCCEED MORE, FAIL MORE

TO SUCCEED MORE, FAIL MORE

Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved—Lao Tzu 

A n aspiring young man once asked a very prominent CEO how he could become more successful. The CEO was Tom Watson of IBM, who reportedly responded that if the young man wanted to become more successful he should do the seemingly unthinkable—fail. In fact, Watson advised that he should double his failure rate . At first glance this is an odd prescription indeed. Upon closer inspection, however, it contains a great deal of wisdom.

A failure should not be viewed as the end of the story but instead as a stepping-stone to a larger success. If someone never fails, this is a telltale sign that he is not trying anything new or challenging. Mastering new skills and growing as individuals require that we enter unfamiliar arenas that can provide us with new knowledge and capabilities. These new ventures can be as varied as learning to play the piano, speak a foreign language, water-ski, or invest in the stock market.

The principle remains the same—you must experience failure in order to succeed. If you expect to learn without making a mistake, you are in for an unpleasant surprise. Imagine Mozart or Beethoven trying to compose music so cautiously that they never hit a wrong note. Do you think they would have been able to compose masterpieces if they totally avoided mistakes?

In fact, Beethoven was no stranger to failure. At one stage in his music career a music teacher said that he had no talent for music. The teacher even remarked that “as a composer he is hopeless.”

The more you try to grow your knowledge and experience in new and challenging areas, the more mistakes you will have to make. Much of this potential for growth boils down to being willing to take risks. Author Carole Hyatt wrote that aggressive CEOs will tell their direct reports: “If you haven’t failed at least three times today you haven’t tried anything new.” And she adds that avoiding failure leads to avoiding risks—“a type of behavior not well suited to most businesses in today’s economy.” So if you want to succeed more quickly, heed the surprisingly sage advice— double your failure rate .

If you want to be more successful . . .

“double your failure rate.”

Good Morning...

Have a great weekend!