THE PEOPLE YOU MUST FORGIVE (CONTD)

The third group you must forgive is everyone else in your life who has ever hurt you in any way. Let them go. Forgive every boss, business partner, friend, crook, or betrayer who has ever caused you grief of any kind. Clean the slate. Wipe each of their names and images off by saying, "I forgive him/her for everything, and I wish him/her well." Repeat this statement each time you think of the person or situation until the negative feelings are gone.

The fourth and final person you have to forgive is yourself. You must absolutely forgive yourself for every silly, senseless, wicked, brainless, thoughtless, or cruel thing you have ever done or said. Stop carrying these past mistakes around with you. That was then and this is now.

Think of it this way: when you did those things in the past that you still feel badly about, you were not the person you are today. At that time, you were a different person, younger and less experienced. You were  not your true self. You were an immature version of the person you have become with experience. Stop beating yourself up for something that occurred in the past that you cannot change.

In psychotherapy, when a person feels burdened with a deep sense of guilt or shame as the result of a childhood truama, the cathartic moment comes when he or she suddenly realizes, "It's not my fault." Sometimes you did things, or things were done to you, when you were too young or inexperienced to know what was going on or change the situation. It was not your fault. You did the best you could. You are okay. Forgive yourself and let yourself off the hook.

Just say, "I forgive myself for every mistake I ever made. I am a thoroughly good person and I am going to have a wonderful future." Whenever you think of that event or situation, just repeat, "I forgive myself completely." And then get on with your life. Focus on the future rather than the past. Look at where you are going rather than where you have been.

Finally, if you did something that hurt someone, and you still feel badly about it, you can go to that person, or write, and apologize. Tell the person you are sorry for what you did it said. Whatever his or her reaction, positive or negative, it doesn't matter. The very act of repentance, of expressing regret, will set you free...